Thursday, May 24, 2012

Day 277: Do NOT Put Some Things in Writing 

Remember when I wrote this?

Gee — guess what I woke up with this morning?

It is huge— the size of a pencil eraser. It is bright red. It is heinous. I am literally clutching an icepack to it as we speak. Well, OK, I put it down temporarily to type. But I re-apply between thoughts.

I never get zits any more! I can't even remember the last time! What is it doing here? What does it want????

And I've been in one-day-at-a-time mode this whole week, I'm only concentrating on what's directly in front of me . . . but here's the thing.

On Saturday night, one of my dearest darlingest friends in the entire world is celebrating her milestone 50th birthday. And as her besty, I'm supposed to be right by her side:
  • Helping with party setup
  • Concocting and bringing an appetizer
  • Baking and bringing a red velvet cake
  • Planning and delivering a party game
. . . and otherwise being the perfect party guest and supportive BF in every way!

(And somewhere in there I also need to purchase her milestone 50th birthday gift. Oh, that little thing . . . )

Right now, I can't even retain coffee. Last night I had a tiny toasted mini bagel and a cup of coffee, then took a hot bath . . . and was okay for just long enough that I thought, Eureka! I'm cured! And then I ran to the bathroom at 2 a.m., and again at 3 a.m., and again at 4 a.m. . . .

Today I'm going to break down and purchase something more powerful than Maalox — Immodium, maybe? That's the name I have in my head.

But the count is on. I have 57 hours to cure my intestinal tract and make my zit disappear. I need some serious Gryffindor magic about now!

In other news, that 10 pounds I wanted to lose before Mom got here? All set.


Onward! The countdown starts now.

—Lady C, Intestine/Complexion Warrior


  1. I know you love your coffee, but you might want to try the BRAT diet. Bananas, rice, applesauce, tea and toast. they're the only safe foods for Voldemort (my name for the disease that must not be named.) And while Immodium will stop all activity belowstairs, allowing you to function at say, a party, it will not cure Voldemort. Voldemort takes his own sweet time and there really isn't anything you can do to change that. Now isn't it terrifying that I am so versed in this particular topic? Feel better soon, from your zit sister (mine is right below my ear, wtf?).

  2. I am eating applesauce as we speak, and the just-purchased bananas are sitting on the counter. I was doing the T in BRAT (Tea AND Toast!) but to no avail. And seriously, cooking a whole pot of rice just to lose it 15 minutes later doesn't seem a good use of time or resources. And do you have to eat it plain? Bleh.

    I suppose I can't substitute Rice-A-Roni? Yeah, you don't have to answer that.

    Unsweetened applesauce may be the lowest rung on the ladder of culinary delight. Man.

    Thanks for sharing your wise and sage words, my sistah!

  3. Just catching up and so sorry you've been so sick! Hope you wake up tomorrow feeling completely well and that you can gradually progress so that you are fit and ready to party by Saturday night! --