Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Y2 Day 83: A Place You Really Don't Want a Needle

Crazy day! It's my special lady time and my generous giving uterus has decided to keep the good people at Kotex in business, so I spent much of my morning in the bathroom. Glamour! I also had a low-level migraine all day, which gave everything I did an extra sprinkle of fun.

Though Math Practice with my kids was in fact quite fun; using a deck of cards I'd doctored (through the magic of White-Out, aces became 1's and queens became 0's), we played Go Fish for Sixes (my first-graders) and Go Fish for Ten or Twenty (my second-graders), where instead of seeking pairs you sought factors of 6 (or 10 or 20). We had a blast.

Then I picked up Martini and his glockenspiel and got them home, attended to my lady needs, and headed to the high school, where I conferenced with two of Mimosa's teachers. Always a good time! (She got a D+ in math her first quarter. She is currently getting an A+. Progress? Yay?)

And then I dashed to my dermatology appointment. I had a skin cancer on my nose in 2001, so every year I'm supposed to have a full body check. I've been seeing the same personality-free dermo since then (and, honestly? if I'm going to pivot naked in front of somebody, I prefer an absence of personality), but I heard that the Watertown office now had a lady dermo, and I decided to check her out (before she checked me out, ha ha!) Yeah.

Well, she was very thorough, promptly taking me to task for my lifelong habit of cuticle-picking (it is a terrible, terrible habit, I know it). And — are you ready for this? Through my constant picking, I have given myself a yeast infection around my fingernails, that is how foul and disgusting I am. I do believe that this news may cure me of my habit FOREVER.

But that wasn't the worst of it. I showed her a few spots on my forehead that I was worried about, and she said, "Yep, they may well be pre-cancerous," so we "froze" those (which is not "refreshing," believe me), and they will likely blister and scab over during the next few days, and then she checked the site of my cancer and said, "Has that bump always been there?" Uh, bump? I thought I knew every bump on my face, but I looked in the mirror . . . and wasn't sure. "It's probably scar tissue," she reassured me, "but it's best to know." So — hello, needle in the nostril!

Or, as I said at the time:

"OW OW OW HELLA OW!"

(She laughed at me.)

After my nose was numb, she scooped off a bunch of it with her razor-sharp ladle; I now have a big divot in my nose and am sporting an enormous dork Band-Aid. And I still have a migraine. And possibly cancer.

And you know what? I'm skipping zumba. I really hate to skip it, but I think today's woes have just about filled my plate. I am taking some migraine meds and then taking a bath.

And then I will apply yeast infection cream to my fingers and go to bed.

This is possibly the least glamorous day of my entire life.

UGH.

Infectedly yours,
Lady C

1 comment:

  1. Feel better, Lady C! I'm praying that all of the tests come out normal!

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