(I was chased by a cow once. I do not forget.)
Here's our famous Nativity scene, with the King serenading the King of Kings, and what my children claim is a suicidal goat (they are messing with their goat-lovin' mama; I know that the mischievous creature is simply trying for a closer look at the blessed bairn).
I just now noticed that a snake is slithering over what appears to be an expired pig.
My children . . . man. I don't know what to say.
And I don't know what Joseph is looking at. Or who that redhead is, cozying up to Jesus. The innkeeper's daughter, perhaps? Pert miss!
I was a devoted Barbie girl back in the day, and when Husband and I celebrated our first Christmas together I had a brainstorm: Barbie decor! Into red and green outfits they went, and they've adorned our staircase every December since.
(For connoisseurs, Malibu PJ is third from left; fifth from left is "Julia," from the TV show starring Diahann Carroll; a vintage original Barbie is to her right, and Barbie's friend Jamie [the dog-walker] is next on the right. Far right and third from right are Ariel the mermaid and Tinkerbell, respectively, who joined me from Mimosa's collection; Mimosa tired of Barbie fairly early. Sigh.)
(Spock is not really the right size, but I don't have a right-size Santa either. Mr. Spock will do nicely. And the reindeer are prospering, as you can see.)
With my biggest responsibilities behind me, I am waltzing into pre-Christmas week with a giddy heart and bubbly spirits!
- Tomorrow, I shall ready my house and the songbooks for my annual Caroling Party.
- On Tuesday, I'm invited to the Holiday Champagne Brunch at my former workplace, put on by my darling friend Mrs. Cynicletary, and that night Li'l Martini plays his glock in a school concert.
- On Wednesday, I shall dance and sweat my heart out at zumba.
- Thursday — we carol! Good Neighbor Anne and I dreamed up this party when our girl cherubs were 5, and they are now 15. I've been doing this a long time!
- On Friday Martini turns 12! He has requested bagels and a milkshake for breakfast, and my innovation, a Tower o' Doughnuts, in lieu of birthday cake.
- On Saturday, I'm attending a Holiday Open House with Kind Tina (and likely wrapping presents with Husband).
- On Sunday, Sexy Em is hosting a party, complete with chocolate fountain "and other delicacies like ham," she says, and Li'l Martini has his birthday party — five boys and at least that many cut-throat card games. It will be a gas gas gas.
Happy happy, merry merry!*
* This is my holiday attitude when I don't have a migraine.
When I have a migraine, my attitude is, "Ho f---ing ho." You may quote me.
p.s. Shout-out to my beloved Dad, whose 79th birthday is today!! His photo can be spied somewhere between all the Barbies. When we talked today, I told him how impressed my children were by the "possum/13 nipple" fact. He said, "It may not matter much to you, but it sure does to the 14th possum."
My daddy — he wise.