Tuesday, January 1, 2013

UPDATED: A Big Hard F Word

http://www.in5d.com/images/forgive22.jpg

I only have one New Year's resolution this year:
  1. Forgive
I've been thinking about this for months, literally. I was going to make it my birthday resolution but I chickened out because I just wasn't ready. Carrying a grudge is my best form of exercise!

But in the process of thinking about it and getting ready and doing some of the behind-the-scenes work I needed to do . . . I discover that I've pretty much forgiven everyone already! Which is fabby.

Still, it's good for me to think about and reflect on and keep as my focus. I think there probably are some hidden grudges I'm still holding, which will surface when I'm not prepared. But the bottom line is: My life is good, my relationships are healthy. There is no point whatsoever in holding on to old crap.

In other news re: this blog:
  • I'm no longer going to track what day it is in terms of my Fat to Fabulous life plan. Those numbers made sense back when I was losing weight faster and wanted to calculate what I'd lost per week, but since I've slowed waaaaayyy down, having to keep track of the number just got annoying. 
  • Posting daily is good for me, it keeps me mindful and on track — but I'm not going to stress about missing an occasional day.
  • I am going to try to respond to every comment that people leave, so please comment, and you'll get a personal answer from me! Kate and Bev do it on their blogs (see links to the right), and it is just so friendly and welcoming.
I did work out today, but boy howdy, as usual, will I try to do anything to get out of working out! Which resulted in a lovely day of accomplishment; I've written our holiday letter (MUCH earlier than usual! It frequently goes out around Groundhogs Day), the four of us wrote thank-you notes to the immediate family and the Cynicletarys; I boxed up packages for my parents and my little nephew, the happy recipient of Li'l Martini's coolest outgrown clothes; I made a big omelet for lunch that used up some of last night's leftovers; and the four of us played Spades, one of my favorite card games, which Martini is now obsessed with.

But I pounded out two sweaty miles on my treadmill, which went even faster than usual, because I ran for almost a whole song! Proud me. And then I lifted weights and did shoulder PT and endured an entire core cycle that the Italian Spitfire taught me and did 25 wall push-ups, and I will be so sore tomorrow. But right now I am virtuous and smug and all is well.

And now it's off to a hot bath, to revel in the serenity of mental and physical health.*

What are your resolutions?

xx Lady C

* Li'l Martini was on his computer when I got off the treadmill. "Tired?" he said, and I said, "Yes, but euphoric." He looked puzzled, so I explained what euphoria is.

"Wow," he said, his little face brightening with interest. "You must feel really good!"

This may not be cute or funny to anyone but his mom, but I found it screamingly adorable.

UPDATE

As I reclined in the tub last night, I suddenly thought, "Crap! What if people think I'm talking about them?"

Readers, I assure you, we're golden. I'm talking about other issues with other people who, to my knowledge, don't even read my blog. For example:
  • My former beau, the brain-damaged movie projectionist, who slept with the cute new girl, gave us crabs, and cruelly dumped me
  • My former dear friend, the woman I asked to be my birth partner, who suddenly dropped me and didn't respond to any of my overtures
  • My former dear friend, the woman I offered to co-sign a loan with, who suddenly dropped me and responded to my entreaty to tell me why by talking of apple-picking and how fast the children grow
(I understand that friendships end and people grow apart, and sometimes the reason, e.g., "I just don't like you that way any more," feels hard and hurtful, but completely ignoring someone when they beg for closure is a dick move, in my opinion.)

Anyway! I've forgiven. I've moved on. I don't particularly want to see any of these people again, but I'm no longer holding anger in my heart. Even as I wrote those three bullets above — three events that at the time wounded me to the core — I was kind of smiling. It all feels very long ago and far away and has nothing to do with me now.

And: I've already lost three of my six and a half new Christmas pounds. Whee! Watch me go!!

11 comments:

  1. Yeah you! No one should be a slave to their blog - as much as we love to read it. And forgiveness is the best gift to give yourself - since many folks are like me: clueless when they offend and thus clueless when they are forgiven.

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    1. You are such a sweet good girl! Thank you for all your loving support, always, my best cheerleader. Happy new year!

      (I think of you every time I froth. Which is a lot.)

      xx

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    2. Tee - I know what you mean... but I am wondering what everyone else things you mean when you say "every time I froth."

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    3. Hmm...should we end their suspense? Or let those who are so inclined continue to picture pervy lady activities? :)

      xx

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  2. What? You mean I'm going to have to find something else to do with my evening when you don't post? This means I'll need to hew to those resolutions to do something else with my evenings, rather than squander hours on the computer. Not that reading you is squandering, it's what you lead to. Petting the cat. Beating non-fanatics at Words With Friends. Spending money foolishly, although often virtually. Petting the cat (oh, I said that). OK. BE that way. Just for that, I'm going to go do what I should already be doing. Well, that also because the cat (see above) is sitting between me and the screen, washing his feet and committing ecstatic flatulence because I've been petting him (see above) and as a result I can't see, so if there are typoos, it's All His Fault!

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    1. OK, "typoo" is the funniest typo I've ever read, especially in this context, and even though I usually abhor all references to poo.

      Words with Friends feels like another Facebook to me, i.e., a giant time-suck masquerading as a fun social activity. I cannot go near it!!! as compelling as it seems!

      I wish we were neighbors and could take our walks together - what fun that would be! Thinking of you as we fight the battle of the bulge...

      xx

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    2. It is seriously unfair that we can only be online neighbors and I intend to Talk to someone about this -- as soon as I figure out who(m?) that someone might be. Because YOU would make me tread the straight and narrow and Make It Fun.

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    3. And I don't think either of us wants to switch coasts, but I *certainly* wouldn't mind a summer house in the wine country!

      Yes, it's definitely more fun with a friend to share the misery. (Fun misery? Miserable fun? Hmm.)

      xx

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  3. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family, Lady C! Good luck with your resolutions! And thanks so much for the shout-out! :-)

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    1. You're so very welcome, and thank you for adding me to your blog list -- I LOVED what you wrote! Good luck with all of yours as well. (Which foreign language are you going to learn? Li'l Martini votes for Latin.) :)

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