Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Day 130: Can My Boot Camp Include Margaritas? UPDATED with The Morning After

It was pretty much a relentless day of suck, all told.

On Friday my printer died, and I really, really need a printer, so I paid an extra $39+ to have it delivered overnight. Which, since they're only counting business days, meant Monday. I waited around for FedEx all day Monday (as well as my electrician — fun day!), but the printer never came.

Turns out — Epson put the wrong zip code on the order, transposing two numbers. Everything else was right, though, so FedEx was kind of a moron, I must say. But in any event, I didn't get the printer until today, around noon.

Here was my plan:
  • Set up printer.
  • Call Epson and calmly insist that they refund my $39+.
  • Take a long walk and sweat sweat sweat.
  • Pick up Li'l Martini and his giant glockenspiel at school.
Here's what I did instead:
  • Attempt to set up printer.
I could not get that thing to work for love or money.

And then I looked at the clock and saw that I needed to get to Martini's school.

. . . and he appeared at 2:30, sans glockenspiel, saying, "Mom, I don't know what happened, I left it in the hallway as usual — and now it's not there."

You know, there are days when I can roll with the punches — adroitly deflecting the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. But during the entire time I was waiting for Martini (and trying not to break down and cry), I was reflecting on the fact that not one single thing I'm doing in my life right now is fun.

Boot Camp — not so fun. I was hungry all day yesterday and felt very virtuous — then I weighed myself this morning, and my weight was no different from the day before. This is the opposite of fun. !!!

Editing work — nonexistent, though I keep being "promised" jobs. I was supposed to have a big job today, but the client says he needs another day. I have three large jobs floating in the ozone . . . but who knows when they'll hit. I'm also "auditioning" for another big job, but you just never know. I am so stressed and worried about work and money and what I "should" be doing (whatever that is)!

Church work — beyond frustrating. I am so sick of people who simply take and contribute nothing. I want to slap them all.

Family — I spent the entirety of yesterday reminding the three dopes I live with of what they're supposed to be doing. I love them to pieces, but this is the least charming aspect of each of their personalities.

In any event, when Martini told me his glock was missing, that was my tipping point. I placed my hands gently on either side of my skull (so as to collect the millions of skull fragments when my head surely exploded), then got out of the car and headed into the school. We were finding that glockenspiel or I was leaving a kid behind. One or the other.

And after crawling through a bunch of storage closets, we did find it. (The school is hosting author Rick Riordan tonight, hundreds of people are expected, and the teachers and custodians went on a hall-clearing rampage. I have . . . so many questions, but whatev. We have the glock, all is well.)

Then I came home and called Epson technical support, and the nice foreign man kindly walked me through several troubleshooting options. My printer now works! Again, all is well.

The I called the Epson store and nicely asked them to refund my shipping fees. They countered by offering the difference between overnight shipping and two-day shipping. I could've pushed harder, but again — whatev. I took the deal.

And then it was 4 p.m. and I went into the kitchen and made a margarita.

So — today's Boot Camp may be something of a bust, though I will eat lightly of our produce-heavy dinner (pork chops, rice pilaf, sauteed greens, grilled leeks, carrot sticks, and homemade applesauce) and have only a thin slice of the apple cake I made for dessert. If it's light enough after dinner, I'll walk down our hill to Trader Joe's, and I plan to take a long hot bath tonight.

I will not win any Boot Camp awards today,  but my psyche needed this.

Life should be fun. Period.

Cheers! (I'm still sipping my margarita.) (It was pretty big.)

—Lady C, Boot Camp degenerate

p.s. I keep meaning to mention this! I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), pledging to write something like 1,500 words a day for the month of November. It will be a challenge, but I'm excited about it. I'll tell you more later, but now I need to get back into the kitchen.


The sky was inky-black after dinner, so my only walk was upstairs to the tub (though I did eat lightly, having seconds only on greens and leeks — SO good! — and my sliver of apple cake was indeed a sliver). I took a very long, very hot bath and had my light off by 11:15. (Two nights in a row!)

Then I weighed myself this morning, and the scale needle hadn't budged.

So, just to review: Day 1 included exercise and a stringent diet; Day 2 comprised no exercise, two margaritas, and a slice of apple cake; and my weight was the same after each day.

I know that weight is a complex entity and there are lots of other variables involved, but nonetheless: I would not call this encouraging.


  1. Good Neighbor AnneOctober 8, 2013 at 9:43 PM

    Sucky day! Ugh! :(
    Boot camp is not fun. And... I think one week might not be enough... damn. Here is the way I am thinking about it: every free chunk of time should be devoted to exercise. The harder we work at this, the shorter the period of pain. (And the sooner the pleasant feeling of exercising will return.) Think of how much fun life will be a couple of sizes smaller. Lots and lots of fun! ;) Really.
    So... tomorrow is a new day, Darling.
    Love from your Pollyanna-ish pal.

    1. Hee! Dearest, if this mindset will work for you, I will cheer you on lustily from the sidelines. But *hell to the no*, I'm not doing this for more than a week at a time! For me, that's the whole point: This is an extraordinary and discreet time period, when I am focused on weight and health with steely intensity. But I do not want to *live* this way. The occasional week every few months, particularly when I'm stuck and need a jump-start — that's how I want to do Boot Camp.

      (Not that it's been much of a jump-start so far! But it's early days yet.)

      And also: Life can be fun no matter what size I am. I do love being in better shape, but dancing hard without getting out of breath is wicked fun, whether I'm six 6 or 16. ;)

      Good luck with your goals today! I do have *a lot* of exercise planned — stay tuned.

  2. Hey, Nanowrimo! I'm so glad to hear you'll be doing it... I've been in it since 2003 (hard to believe) and it's incredibly fun, especially if you find people in your area who are having write-ins and kick-off parties together (look on the Nano regional forums). I'm not sure if I'll be doing it this year... a lot going on.

    Good luck with all your Bootcamp stuff. I'm in a "weight loss is so frustrating" place right now. Gaining and losing the same 10 lbs. And I do believe that my metabolism is not my friend anymore. Bleah!

    1. You were one of the people I thought when I signed up -- I've been so impressed each year when you've announced that you've done this!

      And yes, weight loss is SO FRUSTRATING!! I feel completely betrayed by my own body. Grr! Arggh! (I wish we were together in Mankato right now, so we could walk up and down the Big Hill together and commiserate. Maud would approve.) :)