Monday, March 24, 2014

Hollywood Game Night: Oscar Edition

I'm newly back from the Left Coast and totally jet-lagged (as I get older, it takes forever to get back on track, time-wise, and stupid spring Daylight Savings coupled with Mimosa's dawn-singing Madrigals doesn't help — I am one tuckered tootsie), but nonetheless — it's time to party!

Though we are several weeks removed from the Oscars, one might note. Getting my popular friends together on the same night, it is comparable to herding smoke. I finally gave up on having everyone I could want, which was probably for the best, as the 10 of us were very cozy in my living room. Husband suggested that we remove the coffee table for the evening, but then where would people put their drinks?

It was such a fun party!! And no one took a single picture, so my dazzling stretch-velour hot-rollered beauty was not recorded for posterity. Though no one also recorded me pulling up my Spanx — repeatedly — so that is a blessing.

New rule for next year's party guests:

1. Kindly refrain from referring to your hostess as a "Nazi" or "Hitler." She doesn't like that.

One might think this would go without saying, but one would be wrong. However, it did lead to a pretty funny line. I said, "If I'm going to be any of those guys, I'll be Mussolini — because I would make the trains run on time." Mrs. C added, "And get much better food." Then someone (Brunie? Husband? Superdad?) called, "I'll be Stalin!" and my own darling Mimosa, fruit of my loins, said:
"Aww — you're taking all the good dictators."
Such a funny kid!

We played 10,000 games and drank much champagne and Prosecco and many cocktails. I served Blue Jasmines (which could be watered down to Nairobi-Blue Lagoons), Gravitinis, Scarlett Johannsens (a pomegranate mocktail — naturally intoxicating!), Dallas Breyers Club Punch, and my favorite, Ed Pegram and Seven, in honor of my favorite movie character in my favorite Oscar-nominated movie of last year, Nebraska. Bravo, Stacy Keach! And that's not something you'll hear me say often. Or ever again, probably.

So much laughing!!! Here are some of my favorite moments:

Writer Jenny, playing Mash-Up: "Yo, Adrian! We're late, we're late, for a very important date!"

Sister Hart the Elder, playing Salad Bowl, and looking pointedly at Brunie: "Not Harriet Tubman, but . . . ?"
Brunie: "Hilary Swank!"
Sister Hart: "Right!"
The rest of us: "What the f . . .?????"

(Still not sure, but we riffed on this all night: "Hilary Swank, soon to be starring in The Harriet Tubman Story . . .")

JG, playing Marry Shag or Kill?: "Well, I'm 13, so I'm not doing the second one."

(Husband killed Hitler during Marry Shag or Kill. Shortly after, it was Writer Jenny's turn)
Writer Jenny: "I guess I'll shag Anne Frank?"
Mrs. C: "Better hurry."
Husband: "I know a great pick-up line you can use: Hey, guess who I just killed?"

Mimosa, playing In Other Words, where you restate a classic movie quote: "Roman garment! Roman garment! Roman garment!"

Li'l Martini, playing Consequences, where you have to read other people's writing: "He said, 'I want more piss in a blanket.'"
Brunie: "PIGS in a blanket!!!"

Oh, man, it was funny.

And now I must wait another year. Which is good, because it will be at least that long before I drink alcohol again, as God is my witness.

All sorts of other life news, but I have editing work so must attend. Or take a shower, that would be good and useful too.


— Lady C


  1. I love even READING about Consequences! And mocktails. It is good to flout jet lag with an epic celebration!!! -- SDF

  2. So. Much. Fun. There were so many laughs that I cannot even remember why I nearly died laughing at something Barb said. Thanks, Not-Hitler!
    Mrs. Cynicletary

    1. Nope, even "Not Hitler" is too close. But I appreciate the effort.

      Next time, we are hiring an official Recorder!!!!!