Sunday, March 2, 2014

If I Picked the Oscars . . .

I've seen all but one of the major nominees, the Prosecco is a-chillin', and I'm sporting chandelier earrings and pussycat eyeliner. It's time for . . . THE OSCARS!!!!!!!

And I'm excited because even though a couple of the races appear to be sure things, several others seem too close to call, which always makes things fun. But if I were a member of the Academy, here's how I would complete my ballot:
  • Best Picture: I saw everything but The Wolf of Wall Street, and while I admire the technical wizardry of Gravity, the audacious fun of American Hustle, and the soul-agonizing cinematic experience of 12 Years a Slave, the movie that grabbed my heart, kept me riveted, and continued to surprise me for two hours was Nebraska — much to my astonishment! It will be overlooked in this sea of bigger pictures, but it has my vote.
  • Best Actor: Again, didn't see Leonardo DiCaprio, so I can't speak to his performance, but everyone else in this category did a stellar job and fully deserves to be here (along with Tom Hanks, Joaquin Phoenix, and Michael B. Jordan — and likely Robert Redford too, though I haven't seen his movie yet). Such a strong category! But I gotta go with Chiwetel Ejiofor, who became a different man before our eyes. From the first frame of the movie to the last, we see him stand differently, hold his face differently, even use his hands differently, while always perfectly true to his character. And though his primary expressions are disbelief and horror, he finds shades within those two, over and over again, for two hours. A completely captivating, brilliant, and original performance.
  • Best Actress: You can't really go wrong here, though Meryl's performance was the least surprising. But I agree with the majority that Cate Blanchett's fresh take on Blanche DuBois is the one to beat. She was fantastic.
Note: I usually avoid Woody Allen movies, but this one had been out long enough that I figured my money would go to the theater rather than Mr. Perv — and there also wasn't a clear Woody Allen character in this movie, which I would have found unbearable.
  • Best Supporting Actor: I feel bad for Michael Fassbender who, any other year, might've won this easily — but I believe his day will come. I am Team Jordan Catalano all the way. I would never have predicted that Jared Leto had this performance in him. Rayon's sweet tender soul radiated through that entire movie. Wonderful job.
  • Best Supporting Actress: I would swap out Julia Roberts, who was just OK, I thought, for Oprah Winfrey, who was marvelous in The Butler. Here I'm truly torn between Lupita Nyong'o and June Squibb, both of whom blew my mind and rocked my world with fresh, new, fully colored characters. I'm hoping for a tie.
  • Best Animated Short: They're all excellent, but Mr. Hublot, featuring a man with OCD living in a futuristic robotic world, is crazy imaginative, deeply moving, funny, and splendid.
  • Best Adapted Screenplay: Fingers crossed so hard for Philomena! I want to see Steve Coogan give an acceptance speech (and it's also a wonderful screenplay). 
  • Best Original Screenplay: Nebraska, for all the reasons stated above. Every actor is perfect, and perfectly cast, but the kick-ass screenplay (and cinematography) bring it to the highest level of awesome.
  • Best Documentary Feature: OK, this was the only one I saw, but 20 Feet from Stardom totally rocks!!!!!
I'm psyched for Host Ellen, Mimosa and I have pate and Brie and fresh ripe strawberries and dark chocolate to snack on, and we'll start watching the red carpet arrivals in about twenty minutes. (20 minutes from stardom!!) So. Much. Fun!!!!

I love the Oscars!!!!!

— Lady C, practicing her acceptance speech, just in case


  1. Much as I enjoyed the show, your version was far more sparkling (and considerably shorter!) I think this was the first year EVER that I hadn't seen a single one of the nominees in any category -- a record I would not like to repeat. I am much encouraged by your (spoiler-free, thank you!) comments to try to redress my negligence. -- SDF

    1. You have some happy movie-viewing ahead!! Yes, the Oscars are definitely more enjoyable when you saw and liked most of the movies. The year that "Hurt Locker" and "Avatar" were the nominees, *I* was hurting. My fave that year was "A Single Man" and it wasn't even nominated. Have fun, my friend!

  2. E! acknowledged that Joan Rivers changed the red carpet conversation from "Are you nervous?" to "Who are you wearing?" several years ago and Jennifer Tilly was the first person she asked!

    1. What a claim to fame!! J. Tilly rules. Brunie and I used to love watching Joan and Melissa back in the day . . . This year, Mimosa and I toggled between E! and the ABC show. All good. I think my favorite dress was Lupita's, but there were some very pretty ones this year!

  3. You will be excited to hear that the "fab J.T." shared that she ran deep in the LA Poker Classic (I can barely focus on a four hour tournament... I don't know how she can do it over four days, but honey it is NOT easy!) and she is off to another bay area tournament and says she "looks forward to reading your Oscar blog." I suspect she will appreciate your commentary more than I (not that I don't appreciate it, perhaps clueless is a better descriptor) but you do make it sound very exciting and sparkly. Air kisses!

    1. J. Tilly is studly!! Her name came up 90 times at my party. Do you know that I now own that corkscrew of hers that I coveted so much? My ace pal Writer Jenny bought it for me, in my favey color purple! You must come to said party next year, and bring the Tillys! and Phil!


  4. Well, I think that news deserves a bottle of something crisp and white. Until then!