I tried to be mindful all day. I feel so out of shape, out of sorts, out of practice, but I'm determined to get back in gear and back on track. Let's see how I did, shall we?
- Life weights — check! With my 3-pound weights, I did 55 bicep curls, 35 side arm extensions, 55 triceps curls, and 20 lying-down side arm extensions. ("Side arm extensions" is probably not an official term, but I know what I mean.) I also did 25 wall push-ups.
- Core work — check! But I had just eaten dinner, so I only did 15 throw-downs. And screamed during the last two. Li'l Martini, at his computer, commented, "You're screaming and it's annoying." Li'l pisher.
- Cardio — check! I walked down Heart Attack Hill and back up again, carrying two heavy-ish bags of groceries. (Apples! Onions! A Pound-Plus candy bar for HoneyBear, whose 13th birthday is tomorrow!) And my knee whimpered a little but less than it did the last time I climbed this hill, and I was definitely faster — more like a pert young coed sloth than a matriarch sloth. Progress!
- Physical therapy — check! Mimosa was my witness; I laid on my bed next to her and lifted my knee up and down while she watched The Colbert Report. The quad stretch in particular really helps my knee — I feel like I could zumba for hours after I do that one. I should do it 20 times a day.
- Log my food — check! I went slightly over my calorie limit for today (the huge handful of cashews I had as a pre-lunch snack . . . 10 million calories!! Who knew??), but only slightly. Also, my day started with a breakfast date with Kind Tina, and I was hard-pressed to think of a low-calorie option at Bagels By US. Tomorrow will be better!
I feel like I need to get home now, to go to doctors with them, give Mom a break, keep Dad's spirits up, and help ease them into the next phase in their lives: chemo, radiation, and round-the-clock care. But I priced plane tickets and almost fell over — the soonest and cheapest I could find was $425 on May 29. I e-mailed my brothers to ask if either of them could get home sooner than that, but I haven't heard anything yet (which, given my brothers, is not a huge surprise; they'll do what they can, but I'm not counting on them for much).
When Mom and I talk tonight, I'll ask her to tell me honestly what she wants me to do, and if she really wants me to come home now, of course I will cough up $600+. Of course!! But I can't help swooning over the cost of it all.
In addition, as any parent of school-age children knows, May is the busiest freaking month of the school year, and my kids are performing or auditioning or doing something every blessed weekend. But again — we will deal.
Concentrating on working toward good health and finding a new job and writing new chapters of my next novel — these are all good and worthwhile distractions. And honestly, my friends, I really want to be distracted right now — I don't want to talk too much about my dad. So please don't be hurt if I don't pick up the phone or call you back. This is what I need to do, at least for now.
So! I'm going to take a hot shower and put on my flannel nightie and hunker down in my comfy green chair with a stack of library books, and Husband will bring me coffee, and I will try to resist the delicious brownies Mimosa made for dinner. (I had a small one.)
One day at a time.
Love and gratitude to you all,