Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Baby Boot Camp, Day 2

Another reasonably good day. I subbed for half the day, which was a blast, and went to zumba. Here's the report:
  • Log food — check! I barely reached my calorie limit. And had lots of fiber. (Raw almonds, yay!)
  • Cardio — check! I returned to zumba, to great triumph. Though . . . the Italian Spitfire wasn't there, a sub is never as fun, and I hurt my knee again during the "Swing your partner 'round and 'round" stanza of "Timber"; the Fit Blondie swings very vigorously. Later, Front Row Kristen said, "Well, that's really running; if you've got runner's knee, you probably shouldn't do that part," and I think she's right. But I iced my knee and took Motrin and this morning it feels fine.
  • Core work — sadly, I did not do this. Meant to but didn't. I'll push myself today.
  • Physical therapy — half a check. I did stretch my quads and calves but didn't do the other stuff.
(No weights, because I give myself a day off to let the muscles repair.)

I got to report a 1.5-pound weight loss on Fat Secret, and that was nice. I'm now trying to psych myself into taking a walk before my dentist appointment at 9:30, but I'm so frustrated by my ancient computer, and trying to price airplane tickets on my ancient computer, I don't feel motivated to do anything.

(I'm also trying not to be mad at my brothers, or to think things like "I was just out there, one of you hasn't been home in two years" and "I have two children who are deeply involved in school activities," which neither of them can say, and "My income has to stretch over four people" — again, just me. But there is nothing to be gained in expecting more from them than they are willing to give, and the sooner I make my peace with that, the better. I need to do what I think is right and accept that they might be by my side and they might not.)

(Not quite there yet, but that's what I'm working on.)

Dad meets with the chemo doc today and the radiation doc tomorrow. On Monday, Mom reports that he walked from the car, across the parking lot, and into CVS to pick up his new glasses (then came home and slept for the rest of the day), and on Tuesday he pulled together all the financial records Mom needs now (including his will), so he's not just sitting in his chair rotting, which is great news.

Writing about this has made me feel agitated, so I guess I will go walk it off. Dentist appointment, haircut, committee meeting — big day ahead! I shall go seize it.

Again, thanks for all your calls and e-mails and offers of help and support — I appreciate it more than I can say. Can I trade my brothers for you guys????

(Zen, baby, zen. I breathe in peace and acceptance, I breathe out discouragement.)

— Lady C

6 comments:

  1. I've always been told that in every relationship, there is a gardener and there is a rose. You, Lady C, seem like an established, careful gardener. Maybe your brothers are just big, ol' roses. (Or change it to crabapples, or whatever you want. The metaphor is flexible, I think.)

    I think I had a better idea of what I wanted to say than is coming out in this comment (no caffeine yet this morning). Keep tending to the roses that need you, Lady C! It's all you can do!

    Sending you lots of love and orthopedically-sound thoughts, from my bad knee to yours. And, from my dad to yours, "Give em' hell, sir!" xoxo

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    1. Angel, I love having you by my virtual side through this particular suck journey. Gardener, rose, AWESOME. My brothers are entitled little princes who were raised to be exactly that by our loving mother, and I "yelled" at her for it the other night. (She laughed.) I will absolutely pass along your dad's kick-ass words!!

      xxx

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  2. At first I thought I read, "Zan, baby zan," and I wanted to yell back, "Yes Jen I am here!" and then I realized that was not what you said. But still, my heart had leapt up to be with you, beckoned or not. I know how close you are to your family and how torn you must be right now - so difficult. Thinking out you...

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    1. Zan baby Zan, you are the original Zen baby!! I know you are there for me, always, and I will not hesitate to reach out when and if.

      xxx

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  3. All I got to say here.... J.

    http://www.vqronline.org/poetry/2014/04/ode-my-right-knee

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    1. FABULOUS. I'm listening to Rita Dove reading it right now. "Bone bruising bone," exactly.

      Thank you for being there, my dear friend.

      xxx

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