Good Neighbor Anne asked me if I wanted to join her on the bike path this morning. I was tempted for a minute, but then I thought:
- The timing won't work out; I have to drive Li'l Martini to school with his glockenspiel and rental guitar (don't ask); she wants to go at 7:30 and I won't be available till closer to 8.
- I have a fun big job to do — and still haven't been paid by anyone, we really need some $$$ coming in.
- My daughter is depressed and silent again, which means I'm sad and depressed. I wish this weren't so, I wish I were better at separating my emotions and not going down to the dark place with her — but it is what it is. You're only as happy as your saddest child, I fear.
- I have not had a period for 46 days, I feel like I could be getting one any minute now, and sister — it will be a tsunami.
- I'm feeling heavy, sluggish, and fat. I worked hard to lose a pound last week — exercise! small portions! fresh produce! — and my weight fluctuated by six pounds. I was very psyched to lose four and then went right back to my starting weight plus two. There is no justice in the world.
Over the years, I've found that every single cliche about exercise is 100 percent true:
- The first step is the hardest.
- Don't think about it too much.
- Tell yourself that you're just going to put your workout clothes on, that's all. Once they're on, it will be much easier to get yourself out the door (or down the stairs to your basement treadmill. Whatev).
- Just do it.
And I saw Good Neighbor Anne at about the one-mile marker; she usually runs and I walk, so we're not really "together," but today she stopped running and joined me, and we talked and talked. My knee held up okay, I'm a little slower than usual but I kept up a decent pace, and of course it's wonderful to catch up with my friend.
Two point seven miles. Accomplishment!
Home now, I will work for an hour then finish my workout (weights and stretching) and shower.
I will not be this thin in six months, but thinner? Yes. I can hope for and work toward that.
So often I'm my own worst enemy, but today I'm my own besty. Way more fun!
xx Lady C, drunk with self-love
Or possibly my first cup of coffee, who knows. I've been up since 7; two hours is long time to wait!
p.s. How come nobody else is blogging? My blogroll (at right) hasn't had any new titles in weeks. Girls! Write something!
p.p.s. For Lady Darcy: Here's what I just read:
LOVED Counting by 7s, liked Dear Daughter a lot (could not put it down! But the ending is weak), and thought Isla was just okay. Stephanie Perkins' first book in this "series," Anna and the French Kiss, is SUBLIME. The other two — just okay. C'est la vie.
And here's what I'm currently reading:
As you might imagine, Paying for College is the real page-turner — this fall's Dear Daughter, for sure. Can't wait to see how it ends!