Thursday, June 25, 2015

Yesterday I Gave Birth

But first, I want to add one more thing to my menu of malaise, and that is: the next season of Outlander, the Starz TV series based on the books. (I guess technically it's part 2 of Season 1, almost a year later, to which I say: give me a break.)

With shows that I have to download or get from Netflix, rather than watch in real time (e.g., Orphan Black, Orange Is the New Black), I prefer to wait till the end of the season and then have a lovely binge, so I was very excited when Husband presented me with the entirety of the next installment of Outlander! I loved the first season, despite the abundance of nudity (ew) and the over-reliance on rape, near-rape, suggested rape, and threat of rape as entertainment.

So there I am, curled up in bed with a mug of coffee and high hopes, watching the very first
episode . . .

. . . which opens with our villain stripping Claire to the waist, at knifepoint; he is about to rape her when her new husband bursts in with a gun. Knifepoint, gunpoint, half-naked Claire, the negotiating goes on and on and on ("Drop your knife!" "No, you drop your gun!" "No, you!" "No, you!"), and all I can think is: some director told the Claire actress to do this. "That's right, now make your breasts heave a little. Can you perk up your left nipple? Awesome. Awesome acting."

Ew ew ew ew ew.

Outlander is an equal-opportunity offender, the men are beaten and abused as well, the scars on husband Jamie's back are a roadmap of misery, and I know his own rape is coming up — but honestly, I am not advocating for equal-rape time here. I would like this particular heinous and violent crime to stop being presented to me as entertainment.

I couldn't watch the rest of the disc because either (1) something is wrong with it or (2) something is wrong with my DVD player. I will try it elsewhere — which is also a bummer, because I like to watch movies in bed before I go to sleep. But I will figure it out!

Anyway. On to my birth announcement!

My writers group gave me lots of good advice, as I reported yesterday, and everyone agreed that step 1 was to create a professional writer website. I can now be found at:

I may purchase my domain name, so I can delete "wordpress" from the URL — we shall see.

This is my first baby step toward a "social media presence." I'm still working on the design (WordPress is harder to figure out than Blogger) and deciding what "pieces" to include, but anyway — if you're at all curious about my writing life, feel free to check it out. Once I actually have a finished Novel 2 to sell, I will get serious about things like "followers," but I'm not there yet.

My next social-media-learning project will either be Instagram or vlogging. I simply don't take that many pictures I want to share, so I'm not sure that Instagram will be for me; conversely, while I liked the idea of a video blog (me talking about books I'm reading, I imagined), I practice-filmed myself yesterday and found the entire experience excruciating. It reminded me so much of Skype, which I also loathe. I might need to get likkered up to do this . . . just the thing for an aspiring YA author, n'est-ce pas?

In terms of weight loss (you know — the topic of this blog), I continue to gain and lose the same five pounds, over and over, and my knees are killing me. Yesterday I had a long to-do list, and I did everything but my physical therapy (though I birthed a whole website! and cleaned my freezer! and made the yummiest green enchiladas!!!). I will try to fit it in today, because it really does seem to help my poor knees.

Today Li'l Martini spends the morning at the high school (a sort of Freshman Orientation) and is then invited to a party; Mimosa is taking a college tour at Simmons in Boston. As I perused the online course catalog at this lovely school, I saw that they offer an MFA in writing for children. "That's it," I said to Husband, "I'm going back to school!" So I guess the writer dream continues to flourish within, this week anyway.

Maybe I'll try to fit in both physical therapy and writing today. I don't have any editing work scheduled (waiting for a client to get back to me) — maybe today's the day to rassle the two things I am most likely to put off. OK, writing these words is a good impetus. I just read a really great book:

. . . and the importance of being mindful and having a plan were mentioned over and over again.

All right, then — here is my plan:
  • Take Martini to school at 8:15
  • Come home and write for an hour. An hour.
  • Ride my stationary bike, lift weights, do physical therapy.
  • Reward! (the book says it's important to have an immediate reward): Daytime bubble bath and the new Judy Blume book! 
Stay tuned!

—Lady C, part-time cripple and aspiring authoress


  1. Go, Author!
    I love how you took a break of exactly 1 day from writing (I think of writing as an ongoing activity that includes all the time we're not writing), and I really LOVED your website---now I want to read your article from 1991 (!), "Why Teens Have Sex".

    (Compulsive Proofreader Note: I didn't want to leave this comment there, where some publisher might notice is, but "tweet" is in Merriam-Webster's now, so it doesn't need to be in quotes (on your "about me" page.)

    And now, back to proofreading an ms about Ebola...

    1. Ha! Webster's be damned -- if you ever see me use the word "tweet" without quotes (i.e., unironically), you will know it is The End of Days.

      "Why Teens Have Sex" is such a provocative title, but really, it was a write-up of a teaching exercise I used to do when I worked for Planned Parenthood — less exciting (and meaty) than it sounds, I fear.

      Have fun with Ebola!

    2. Ay-ay-ay,I take it back! Please don't remove the quotes around "tweet" and initiate the End of Days!!!

      I just learned that ironic quote marks are called scare quotes, or, even better, sneer quotes! I had no idea.

  2. I love your Lovelace banner on your new site! Instagram is easy with a Smartphone. You can just take pics of your cats and make witty remarks, whether or not they are related to the pic. The internets, as my bud GWB would say, love cats.

  3. Jeez, I forgot to add that my goal this week is to write a post to maud-l about how I survived hell week temps in Washington, DC, and why one should never visit there in the summer but if one insists, a few survival tips. I saw my legislative hero, Senator Alan K. Simpson, in the Rotunda and it made the trip worthwhile! He is 83 and wears a size 15 shoe. He's a beast.

    1. Thanks, honey!! My phone is just a phone, but I think I can use a regular camera and Dropbox . . . still exploring! And yes, I have no end of witty things to say about my soon-to-be-famous cats. (have you seen "Inside Out" yet? The scene with the cats will make you ROAR)

      We're going to D.C. in August, and I am solidly in denial about the likely temperature. SOLIDLY, don't try to budge me, la la la!

      But temps aside, I am wildly excited to see some new things, particularly the National Portrait Gallery, at YOUR suggestion — I know I will love it too.