Tuesday, October 13, 2015

I Guess a Surprise Is . . . Refreshing?

Spoiler: This post is not for the faint of heart or for those grossed out by bodily functions. Read at your own risk.

"Weepy," I wrote yesterday. "Melancholy," I said. "Suddenly burst into tears," I noted.

I didn't mention a heavy crampy emotional feeling or tender boobs, because, hey! That's just what I call Daily Menopausal Life!

I got a period 27 days ago, after not having one for 270 days, and it was one of those weirdo dark-brown periods that didn't resemble anything normal but nonetheless required multiple sanitary products. It felt like my uterus's last gasp, frankly. I'm movin' on, baby! Let's get all this old crap outta here.

So when I got up from my computer chair this a.m., noting an odd stickiness in my nether regions:
  Am I a moron for not connecting the dots?
  Would you have expected a bloody stain on the chair?
  What the fuck, body????
I am currently flowing like a teenager.

But I haven't sneezed once.


(I guess I'll hang on to my tampons for another year.)

Must now remove stain from chair, also nightgown, also pathway to bathroom.


— Lady Bloody C

Monday, October 12, 2015

Autumn Is a Melancholy Season


October is my favorite month, but I have been very weepy this time 'round. I'm still sneezing, coughing, and blowing my nose, so clearly I have something allergy-related going on (or walking pneumonia, that seems possible too), and not feeling 100 percent well is a 100 percent downer, and I am also crazybusy with work and life commitments (and have taken on yet another project, a cookbook for the Betsy-Crazies, don't ask), and I am really, really, really missing my dad right now. I got my Cook's magazine in the mail yesterday and wept because Dad bought me this subscription. I wept while watching High Sierra (great movie!) because Dad loved Humphrey Bogart. And so on and so on.

But I'm also gearing up for the next big loss: Mimosa is a senior in high school, and unless something goes terribly awry, this is her last year living at home with us for real. (I know the trend is for college grads to return home to live with their parents, so who knows. It's not what I did nor my brothers nor Husband, and I do hope that my kids will be able to find their own homes and support themselves — but time will tell.)

Yesterday I brought the new North Shore Music Theater brochure into her bedroom in great excitement, saying, "Which shows should we see?" NSMT has chosen a bewilderingly bad line-up for the past few years, but this year I'm excited about several shows. Mimosa said, "Singin' In the Rain for sure" — "YES!" I said — "and maybe Funny Girl? Would I like that?" "It's got some great songs and it's a fun show," I said. "So yes, Funny Girl. And what about West Side Story?"

And my sweet girl said, "It's — in November."


She won't be here to see West Side Story with me. She'll be away at college.

I calmly burst into tears, and Mimosa held my hand and was very sweet.

Loss, loss. It all sucks.

But a different kind of loss, i.e., WEIGHT, would be most welcome! For weeks now I've been saying, "As soon as I'm well again, I will start building up my strength," and the weeks go by . . . and by . . . Clearly it's time to call my doctor (it was probably time to call my doctor several weeks ago), so I will do that tomorrow. Benadryl, recommended by the wise and brilliant Mrs. Cynicletary, is wonderful at drying up my leaky sinuses, but it puts me right to sleep. I need a better strategy.

But I can't call today because it's Columbus Day, we're enjoying a gorgeous three-day weekend, and Mimosa and I are about to road-trip to Wheaton College and Wellesley College, just to check them out, and then dine at Alta Strada, one of our favorite restaurants. It may all be moot, she has her heart set on Emerson College and is applying Early Action, but I'm trying to get her to expand her horizons a bit and see that there are other lovely schools out there (that might be more realistic . . .), just in case, just in case.

Her application is due November 1 and we'll know by December 15 if she got in, and I am expecting the next few months to be EXCITING.

Off to hit the road, Jack!

– Lady C

p.s. Here's what I'm reading:


And here's what I'm watching:

Apparently I'm on a Ginger Rogers kick. I was watching House of Cards, but I realize that I hate every single character and don't care what happens to any of them, so I quit halfway through Season 3 — on to Scandal