Saturday, November 7, 2015

When the Plate of Daily Life Is Overfull . . .


I woke naturally at 8:30 this morning, no alarm clock, no yowling cats (a small miracle!), and it was a quiet joy to pad downstairs (painfully — my knees are killing me) with nothing more strenuous on my immediate docket than coffee, cat feeding, and e-mail. Today is Chore Day, of course, and I will take down some Halloween decorations — all good — and this afternoon I have an outing planned with dear Brunie. Nothin' but good times ahead.

And then I sat down at my computer with my coffee, and my Actual Usual Real Day began:
  • It's time to pay my car loan bill. I tried to log in to my online account; it is frozen for some reason, so I will have to call someone and deal with this on Monday.
  • Two other big bills are due on Monday, and I don't have enough cash to cover them. I continue to dance with my lousy partner, Debt and Credit, and the financial future looks bleak.
  • I need to find a new therapist for Mimosa, ideally one who takes our insurance. The good news is that you can search online for therapists in my geographical area who take Blue Cross Blue Shield (though I must further subdivide between BCBS HMO and BCBS PPO, only one of which will work for me, and that requires a phone call or e-mail), but the search produces a long list of names and faces, all of whom are strangers. I will have to send dozens of e-mails and set up many initial appointments to find one who's the right fit, yada yada yada. I told Mimosa that she has to sit with me while I do this, but finding time that we're both available (and I have mental energy) is surprisingly difficult! She is a busy little pumpkin — as am I.
  • No response yet to my latest job application. All I want is a regular part-time second job to supplement my editing (which has been light of late), and I am barely able to net a phone call in response to my efforts, let alone an interview.
  • The last agent who read my first novel gave me extremely discouraging feedback, which I suspect is balls-on accurate. I am sad and depressed. My sweet old-fashioned book is pretty much dead in the water unless I make some major changes, I fear.
  • I currently chair the Religious Education Committee at my church. Almost nothing has been done to/with our website in several years, as it has been the lowest priority of the people running the program. The sheer tonnage of the work ahead of me is wearying. I should take it bird by bird, I know, but right now all I can see is the entire aviary.
  • "Write D.C. travel diary" and "Begin college financial aid application process" have been on my to-do list and pile since the beginning of time. I am oppressed by their presence.
  • The bills grow ever larger, and my pool of paying work is suddenly very small. I keep reaching out and checking in and job-searching and applying, and I don't know what else to do! 
  • My knees hurt hurt hurt and I just get fatter and fatter. I am old and tired and discouraged.
  • Someone needs to go grocery shopping!!
  • I sent 14 e-mails this morning so far — accepted a subbing job, dealt with some committee stuff, paid a bill, rescheduled a fun breakfast date, followed up with two book agents— and yet the pile and list before me remain enormous. I feel like I removed a microscopic chip from a towering iceberg.
This is how I have felt every single day in October and November. Something has to give!!!!

Time for chores. At least that is something definite I can accomplish, even if the effects are fleeting.

Onward!

— Lady C

p.s. In happier news, here's me as a Peanuts character:


All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well. This is my mantra. I just need to keep repeating it!

6 comments:

  1. I saw a clip of a woman being interviewed about some random thing,
    and she said,
    "I'm a fighter---I keep going until I make it work!"

    Now, I could never truthfully say this about myself (I might more accurately describe myself thusly:
    "I'm a quitter; I lie down and wait until the problem goes away"),
    but I don't care:
    I decided to adopt it as my mantra anyway!
    My brain likes it.

    "All shall be well fits" right on top of it too.

    And after all, in the big picture, that's even true!

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    Replies
    1. A mantra that works for you is a beautiful thing!

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  2. How bizarre: just as I was reading your line "All will be well," the song "All Will Be Well" by Gabe Dixon Band came on my iTunes. Look it up if you don't know it!

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  3. All I can say is a big PHOOEY to all the cares and woes! That being an expression of deep disapproval of them, not a dismissal of their horridness (I find I'm not entirely sure what phooey means!) In any case, they should all go way back and sit down immediately. I hope things have already looked up since you wrote this. I do find that this particular autumn and time change is affecting me (and many others I talk to) much more adversely than usual. Gloom is in the air. But I, too, love your mantra and believe it will prove true. I am sending many hugs in the interim! Love, SDF

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    Replies
    1. Well, I went grocery shopping ("someone" usually means me), and I got a response to my latest job application (a lackluster response, to be sure — "Thank you for your interest in the Part-Time Office Assistant position. We will be in touch within a week or so if we wish to arrange an interview" — but it's better than being ignored, right?), so . . . progress?)

      This too shall pass (another good mantra). Thanks for your kind words!!

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