For some reason I scheduled an appointment with almost every doctor I have for this week and next. Last week I met with a knee surgeon, had my teeth cleaned, had a mammo, and saw my boob doc. Next week I see my cancer prevention doc and have a colonoscopy — hence, the "prep" reference. This picture shows all the colon-friendly foods I bought. Truly, it makes me shudder. Canned fruit? Egad. I cannot have a raw fruit or vegetable, or a cooked version of either that contains seeds, from Friday through Wednesday.
This is not how I eat!
Tonight's dinner will be a turkey and cheese sandwich on white bread, with potato chips and a cup of Mott's Granny Smith applesauce. Egad.
Nonetheless, I am sticking to this diet with a will of iron. Longtime readers may recall how outraged I was to get a grade of "Fair" on my prep last time — when they sent me the directions for how I was supposed to eat three days too late. Jerks. But this time I will get an Excellent! Or an Excellent Plus! I will be the poster girl for colon prep!
I can turn anything into a competition. Even one that no sane person wants to win.
(Years ago, we were making clementine pomanders at a Betsy-Tacy party, and our hostess commented how nice it was to do an activity that wasn't competitive. I promptly said, "Mine's cutest!" and Thecla said, "Mine's roundest!" and Alice said, "Mine's orangest!" Our hostess sighed. Silly girl.)
The big news is that I have a hot date for my double knee replacement surgery, which is: February 1. I wanted it to be sooner, but what can you do.
To my surprise, I got a little teary looking at my x-rays. Both knees are bone on bone, and I'm developing all kinds of bone spurs; they were ugly, sad pictures. But it also became vividly real at that moment. I have truly terrible knees. I have been living in pain for a ridiculously long time. I am going to have major surgery!!
Some doctors won't do a double surgery, and indeed my pal Nurse Kathy urged me not to. But I want it done. I hate pain, like everyone else, but I am determined and stubborn and I will muscle through. My sweet Greek surgeon (who is 12, bless him) says that I seem very motivated, and he thinks I'll do well.
I'm determined to prove him right! My goal is to get myself ready by getting as strong as possible beforehand — which means riding my bike and lifting weights (and going to Deep Water — it is ridiculous how many of these classes I have to miss. Tuesday and Thursday nights are in high demand in my life, apparently!).
So, today I got back on my bike for the first time in a long time.
I had decided to ride for half an hour, but halfway through I was sweaty and tired and had an achy bum and sore knees and was ready to throw in the towel . . . and then went, "Does this hurt more than double knee replacement surgery is going to? If I can't handle this, what makes me think I can handle that?"
And this was just the tough talk I needed; I stayed on, pedaling away, for the full 30 minutes and then some, because I wanted to finish the song ("Fallin' and Flyin'" from the Crazy Heart soundtrack).
Then I lifted weights and did wall push-ups, and now I am sweaty and limp and exhausted and proud and victorious.
Colon prep. Egad.