Monday, April 10, 2017

Film Festival: The Anticipation Builds!


This Sunday, Brunie and I embark on our fourth annual film festival, which we are both very excited about. And I thought I'd step away from my usual practice — writing about the whole thing in one fell swoop — and instead whet your appetites with a little taste of the wonders to come.

(It occurs to me that I don't know where we're going; Brunie always makes the arrangements. Brunie, where are we going??)

My only requirement, as Constant Readers know, is a refrigerator. Drinking warm wine over ice gets very old very fast. I believe we are returning to a former (refrigerator-less) venue; Brunie had the following conversation with the registrar:

Brunie: Is there any way you can guarantee us a room with a refrigerator?
Registrar: Do you have medical issues that require a refrigerator?
[pause]
Brunie: YES we do!

As we are women of traditional size, the check-in people will have no trouble assuming we are raging diabetics. But perhaps I'll bring a vial of insulin to tuck in next to the Chardonnay, just in case there are surprise room  inspections.

We are crazy excited about this year's theme:

The One They Want You to Watch  The One They'd Prefer that You Forget

This is what we're bringing (disclaimer: most of the list originated with me; Brunie added her comments in all caps):


Kevin Costner
Silverado     /      No Way Out
BOTH ARE MAGNIFICENT!

Phoebe Cates
Fast Times at Ridgemont High    /     Shag

Joe Morton
Lone Star     /     Between the Lines
YOU ARE DETERMINED TO WATCH LONE STAR AGAIN, I AM DOWN. 

(We may have to give up on Between the Lines, we can't find it anywhere.)

(Note: We have not watched Lone Star, there is no "again." We brought it last time, and I made awesome homemade guac and salsa to enjoy while we watched — Lone Star is The Movie that Most Makes Me Want to Eat Good Mexican Food — but we ate my themed snacks while watching another, lesser movie. However, I will not force anyone to watch Lone Star, Kris Kristofferson's greatest role in all of ever, no I will not.)

Michelle Pfeiffer
One Fine Day     /       Grease 2
THESE SOUND GREAT — I ALSO HAVE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS ALREADY AND AM DYING TO WATCH THAT AGAIN.




Catherine Zeta-Jones
Intolerable Cruelty     /      Rock of AWESOME
SO EXCITED TO SEE INTOLERABLE CRUELTY!!! AND RE-WATCH ROCK OF AWESOME...

Lee Purcell
Almost Summer        /           Summer of Fear
OH MY GOSH, I LOVED ALMOST SUMMER SO MUCH!! SUMMER OF FEAR IS GOING TO BE NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET, BUT WE CAN TRY...




(Spoiler: I found it)


Olivia DeHavilland
The Snake Pit or The Dark Mirror       /           Lady In a Cage
SNAKE PIT SNAKE PIT SNAKE PIT!!!


Matt Damon
Courage Under Fire       /           School Ties
YERP

James Spader
Secretary       /           Pretty In Pink
OKAY
  • Me: We HAVE TO make it all the way through Pretty in Pink this year!!!
(and I do not know why Brunie isn't more excited about Secretary, which we both agreed that we were horrified to find SO HOT)

(S&M girls we are not. We like nice boys to bring us snacks and rub our feet and tell us we're pretty and surprisingly thin-like)

(and yet, and yet. James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretary, OH. EM. GEE.)

Melanie Griffith
Something Wild        /           One on One
YES!!

Emma Thompson
Stranger Than Fiction       /           The Tall Guy
  • Brunie: Um . . . THE TALL GUY is AWESOME!!!
  • Me: Yes, but she shows her boobies.
Hilary Swank
Conviction*       /           Dying to Belong
* I’d be willing to see almost any of her movies – this one just sounded good and I haven’t seen it.

SURE, BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN BOYS DON'T CRY EITHER AND MAYBE I SHOULD . . .
  • Me: I will have to go to the hot tub for two hours if you want to watch Boys Don’t Cry. Hilary is crazy great but it is a HARD movie to watch, and Chloe Sevigny (whom I hate) has giant moles all over her boobs, like extra nipples. Gag. Sorry for all these spoilers.
  • Brunie: I have no interest in seeing Chloe Sevigny's mole-y boobs. BOYS DON'T CRY is off the table!
Morgan Freeman
Lean On Me**        /           Street Smart
** Ditto

SNOOZE, BUT OK
  • Me: We can totes skip other Morgan movie, but Street Smart is the one that inspired this year’s theme!!! Have you seen it? Saint Morgan is a PIMP!  So awesome.
Demi Moore
Mortal Thoughts       /            St. Elmo’s Fire
MORTAL THOUGHTS WAS GREAT


Susan Sarandon
Cradle Will Rock***       /           Elizabethtown***
*** Random  movies I want to see

GOOD GRIEF, YES!!!

Kirsten Dunst
Melancholia       /           Fiftee
I REALLY HOPE FIFTEE IS FIFTEEN AND PREGNANT! IF SO, I AM IN!!

(Spoiler: It is! We figured out how to download it. Very excited! So excited I can't type the full title, apparently!!)

Patricia Arquette
Boyhood    /      Ethan Frome
(Brunie added these; I am not super-excited. I loved Boyhood in the theater but was underwhelmed by my second viewing. Ethan Frome sounds worky, like someone will expect a book report. But I am nothing if not open-minded.)

Stay tuned!!!

xox
Lady C

4 comments:

  1. I love Maggie Gyllenhaal as much as someone I knows loves James Spader. Lady in a Cage sounds far more frightening than "Chloe Sevigny's mole-y boobs." Considering her other movies, "mole-y boobs" are pretty tame. If you watch Pretty in Pink, I think that your are required to watch St. Elmo's Fire. John Parr had more than one number one hit; but I do not see how.

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    1. Potato, potahto. Mole-y boobs are TERRIFYING to this girl. I am very psyched to likker up and watch both "Pink" and "Elmo"! And yes, Maggie G is da bomb. Love her!!!

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  2. I was going to recommend STRANGER THAN FICTION for Maggie Gyllenhaal. I loved her in that. For Matt Damon "one to watch" I loved THE DEPARTED. He is wicked good in that, plus Leo and all the other A-listers are in it. Susan Sarandon has a lot to "forget" - STEPMOM. I sort of liked her BANGER SISTERS movie. Sounds like such a fun weekend.

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    1. Maggie is so so so awesome! I bet we won't watch "Courage Under Fire," it's probably a little heavier than we'll be up for, but that was the first time I really noticed Matt Damon, and he was **amazing**. I agree, he and Leo are great in "The Departed" (my summation of that movie: People's insides are SQUISHY). Maybe it's time for a Matt and Ben film festival!

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