Sunday, July 9, 2017

Floating in the Sea of Friendship

I think I've written before about how I feel about my friends. My BFs are like family to me; I would take a bullet for each of them. And I am profoundly lucky and blessed to have so many true soul-sustaining friendships in my life.

Sometimes I know instantly that a person is destined to be my true friend, and sometime it takes a while to feel the "click." Or, conversely, sometimes it takes the other person a while to realize that we are soulmates. Fortunately, I'm patient.

Well, not really at all. But in this case, and this case only — yeah, I can wait.☺︎

In any event: One reason that I spent so much time out west in June is that I wanted to see my two closest California girlfriends, Lady Darcy and J, whom I hadn't seen since Dad's memorial service (which can probably be described as one of the worst weekends of my life). And to my great joy, both were available!

And to my astonishment, I see that we didn't take a single picture! What the heck, girls??? (I blame the hooch.)

But here we are in 1984, sitting in my apartment at San Jose State, where I was the newly hired Residence Hall Director. Ah, so young and dewy. Little did we know what life had in store . . .

I still have that blue and white afghan!!!
I've been friends with these girls since 1980, and we picked up Zanny three years later. There is something truly wonderful about bosom chums who have known you for decades. I'm still friendly with two of my junior high pals, but we're not particularly close; these three are really my oldest friends.

J, Lady Darcy, Space City, Zanzibar, and me! (1989, maybe?)
It was so lovely to spend time with them — partly to catch up on all the happenings of our exciting lives, but partly to just be together. At one point Lady Darcy and I simply sat on my mom's plushy couches with our books and a fan (even with the a.c. on, it was crazy hot), and that was awesomesauce.

Right before my West Coast jaunt, I had a fabulous movie evening with Writer Jenny; we drank cocktails and ate delicious snacks and watched Gaslight, which she'd never seen and which led to a spirited argument: Is Ingrid Bergman blonde or brunette? (Readers, what do you think?  Cast your vote, then I'll tell you which side we each took.)

And I had a coffee-and-multi-hour-conversation date with Nurse Kathy at Arlington's new coffee shop, Caffรจ Nero, which is fantastic. It's half a block from Starbucks and across the street from Kickstand Cafe, both of which are always packed; can Arlington sustain yet another coffee shop? I hope so, I think I like this one the best.

I also spent a glorious evening with Brunie, Mr. Brunie, and Li'l Martini; we had dinner at Soma, a fantastic restaurant in Beverly (such yummy martinis!! oh my!!), where Mr. Brunie instructed my young son in the finer points of drinking good beer ("Life's too short for Coors Light, son!"). Martini and I then took Brunie to see The Music Man at North Shore Music Theater, which she soundly slept through.

(She says:
Friday night I went to the theatah with Lady C and her charming son to see THE MUSIC MAN. It was lovely but I did fall asleep for the second act. Not my fault. Just try to keep up with Lady C, drink for drink. I dare you . . .)
Right before I left, I spent a morning on Good Neighbor Anne's lovely and serene back patio, where we talked fast and furious. She lives within a stone's throw of my house, yet I can go weeks without seeing her — which, we agreed, is not good for either of us. We are in the same exact spot in terms of Life Events — college-age daughters and aging mothers, both of whom we simultaneously adore and are being driven insane by — and we are an important support system for each other. I left full of good coffee and good intentions and haven't seen her since. But I will!

Really — such good intentions!!
And then, on my first day back from the Left Coast, Mimosa and I headed to Boston to see Mrs. Cynicletary in the Boston Actors Theater Play Festival 2017 — she performed a monologue that she wrote herself, called, "That Time We Were Followed," and it was simply stunning. Yes, I was a little weary and jet-lagged, but no way was I missing this. My girl is a genius — the best one in the show. We clapped till our hands ached.

I've known Good Neighbor Anne for almost two decades, and Brunie and Mrs. Cynicletary since I was pregnant with Li'l Martini (who is about to get his drivers license), and both Writer Jenny and Nurse Kathy are friends from my Dallin Elementary School days, so I guess they all qualify as "old" friends now.


According to the Mayo Clinic, friendships are good for your health:
Adults with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index. Studies have even found that older adults with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.
I am delighted to include "maintain my strong friendships" in my weight loss–better health plan!


Lady C, who earned a Girl Scout badge in "Friendship" in 1972


  1. Replies
    1. Many xx's and oo's to you, my darling! I will be in NYC with daughter August 23-26; any chance of hooking up?